Mary Sue Invades Animorphs
by A Random Howler from Animorphs
Summary: Astrid Darkness Galaxy Celestine Angel is a Mary Sue who will glomp all her crushes even if it means destroying canon. Tobias speaks weaboo Japanese, Visser Three is emo, Jake is flirty and romantic, and much more craziness will unfold in this angsty, cliché tale. Contains My Immortal-style you-know-what scenes.
1. Meet Astrid the Sue

A/N: This started off as the Sue version of me, created as a joke XD. Originally published on Quotev. Please note that I don't usually write this bad and everything in this fic is to mock Mary Sues/make you laugh. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I own Animorphs, then my Elliyak pairing will come true, but I don't.

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><p>My name is Astrid.<p>

Well, actually it's Astrid Darkness Galaxy Celestine Angel, isn't that the most beautiful and dark name ever? Anyways, I'm the most perfect and beautiful person you'll ever meet. I have long, straight, never-gets-tangled raven black hair cascading like a beam of moonlight that can change to pure white when I want it to. My sky-blue eyes are bigger than an anime character's, sparkly, mysterious, and they changes colour at will. My skin is as pale as snow, flawless, smooth, never gets pimples, and sparkles like diamonds. I'm six feet tall but only weigh 100 lbs; I never gain weight and have a perfect hourglass figure.

I'm more than one million years old but looks 17, because I'm immortal. I'm part Andalite, part Yeerk, part Hork-Bajir, part Taxxon, part Chee, part Howler, part Pemalite, part Ketran, part Skrit Na, part Leeran, part Helmacron, part Kelbrid, part Capasin, part Arn, part Iskoort, part Garatron, part Nartec, part Mercora, part Nesk, and every other species in the galaxy (but not humans, they suck, what do you mean it's racist?). And it's okay to defy logic because it's fiction, duuuh

I'm super powerful. I can morph without the cube but I'm an _estreen_, fly with the rainbow angel wings growing out of my back, use thought-speech, regenerate, control the elements, have a crippling howl, breathe underwater, read and control minds, run at the speed of sound, hack any computer, project holograms and force fields, have x-ray vision, manipulate space-time, and a lot of other powers.

Well, onto my backstory. I never knew my parents because they were horribly murdered by Visser Three right in front of my eyes when I was only five *Cue violin music*, I'll never forgive him! But I escaped with my powers and Crayak adopted me. He and Drode bully me all the time because they are jealous!

'Sue, come over here so I can beat you up 'cause I'm mean!' Drode called.

'Just a second,' I replied, 'let me finish my daily emo session.'

'Okay.'

Why is my life soooooooo depressing? *Cries* I'm such a monster and no one understands me! No one loves me! Darkness is my only love! Well, that's all for now, I think I'll run away soon. Bye my lovelies!


	2. Sweet, Sweet Angst

Why is my life sooooooo depressing? This morning, Crayak told his Howlers to beat me with a feather and it hurts so bad that I think they broke my spine! After that, Drode just called me a whiny Mary Sue, he's such a hater! OME no one understands or likes me!

'Your parents died because of you,' He said, 'if you were not so useless, then you might have saved them!' he then laughed cruelly.

*Gasp* He just reminded me of the traumatic and horrible day when my parents died. HE'S SO MEAN!

'Shut up, you prep! I'm so depressed!' I cried. Drode didn't show sympathy at all.

Wait, he's a bit in-character! I can't allow that! Flashback time!

~Flashback~

'MUM, DAD!' I protested as Visser Three cut their heads off. I could have helped them but I needed the angst. When I was certain that they were going to die, I conjured a ball of rainbow fire and killed the Hork-Bajir Controller who was holding me, then ran towards them.

My mother's head smiled sadly, 'We... love... you...' Her eyes went blank.

'Noooooo!' I screamed, wiping my completely dry cheeks. Visser Three and all the other Yeerks just stood around and let me have this angsty moment, 'Why did you do this, you prep?'

(Because I love you!) V3 exclaimed in a totally not paedophilic or creepy way. Then he took out a banquet of girly pink flowers and started singing a song by some poser band.

The other Yeerks exchanged glances. One moved his finger around his ear in a circular motion.

'Eww! Stop being such a prep!' bloody tears started flowing from my eyes. 'I will have my revenge!' I said dramatically, then spread my wings and flew off before he had a chance to stop me.

~End of flashback ~

'Stop whining and fight back, Sue, or are you too scared to?' Drode taunted. Crap, he's still in-character.

I extracted my claws and stabbed him in the side several times. He's supposed to be an immortal cosmic being but who cares about canon anyway? Anyways, after he died I teleported to Earth, where I hid in a forest and continued my angsting.


	3. The Seventh Animorph, Very Original

'I HATE THE WORLD SO MUCH! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!' I screamed into the sky, startling flock of birds that quickly flew away, terrified.

I was having my daily cutting spree using my claws. Rainbow blood flowed out but I didn't cry, aren't I sooooooooo much tougher than all the canons?

Anyways, I noticed that time suddenly froze because I can just sense things like that. I waved my hand and started it up again, and then an alien with four wings and rainbow quills for hair stepped into sight. He was radiating power and wisdom, but nothing compared to my perfectness.

I narrowed my eyes and summoned my powers, ready for battle. The alien just smiled.

'Hi Ellimist,' I said, cuz I could read minds and bend reality.

'Hi.' He replied 'I am in love with you.'

I gasped perfectly; I so did not see that coming! 'Oh Ellimist, that is so sweet of you!' Then tears started to form in my eyes, which turned dark blue. 'But my heart belongs to another.'

'Who?'

I named all the male characters in the series.

He looked so hot when he's disappointed, 'Oh, I see, is there anything that I can do for you then?'

I smirked, 'You can give me tons of powers and make me the seventh Animorph!'

'Alright, who cares about the rules of the game, anyway?' He clicked his fingers and I was suddenly in Cassie's barn, in the middle of an Animorphs meeting. Jake, Rachel, Marco, Cassie, Tobias, Ax, and Erek, who was visiting, were all instantly dazzled by my beautifulness.

'Hi guys!' I chirped, waving, 'Let us get something straight: You're all going to love me no matter what!'

'You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen!' Jake exclaimed immediately, Cassie looked hurt, but who cares about her when I'm around?

'Will you marry me?' Marco asked eagerly.

You are like a star who have fallen to Earth! Tobias exclaimed, Dazzling us lowly mortals with your unworldly radiance! We do not deserve this honour, to whom do we owe it to?

I smiled beautifully, I could tell that Rachel was angry at me for stealing her boyfriend, what a prep. 'I am Astrid Darkness Galaxy Celestine Angel (last name), but you may call me Astrid, Astri, Celeste, Galaxy, Dark Rose, Angel Tears, or Goddess of Light.'

Erek tilted his head, 'Why is all that necessary?'

He's in-character! I tried to use my mind-control powers but it didn't work! Maybe it's because he's an android. I stopped time, knocked Erek out, locked him in a closet, then came back out and started time again.

'So, which one of you should I date first?' I smirked and my eyes fell on Tobias.

'Oh no you don't!' Rachel snapped, standing protectively over him.

'Admit it, poser, you're just jealous of how incredibly beautiful and perfect I am!' I laughed, flipping my hair, which turned white with silver tips.

Rachel began to morph to grizzly bear, I waited patiently until she was finished and charging at me before morphing to a female Andalite. With sparkly black wings. And color-changing fur. And a lightsaber for the tailblade.

I beat her up so easily.

Crystalline tears flowed down my flawless cheeks, 'Why does everyone hate me so much? I'm so depressed!'

All the male Animorphs immediately came to my side, comforting me.

Rachel, how could you make Astri cry? Tobias said accusingly. Rachel gave me a death glare but I just smirked.

'I-I think I would l-like to be alone for a while...' I sniffed. The Animorphs obeyed my orders and left, though Jake and Marco had to drag Rachel with them.

I grinned and walked over to the closet, where I woke Erek up and looked at him greedily.

'What...do you want?' He asked, he tried to back away. I waved my hand and a gust of wind slammed the door shut, Erek's holographic eyes widened, he looked so cute when he's scared.

'It's obvious, isn't it?' I giggled insanely, 'I wuv you! Let's have inter-species you-know-what together!'

His eyes grew even wider, 'NO! PLEASE! NO!' He screamed and desperately tried to back away, I giggled and grabbed his wrists. 'PLEASE! ANYONE, SAVE ME!'

'No one's going to hear you scream, my Erekie-kins!' I laughed and did what I wanted.


	4. God-mode activated

The next day, I dragged a broken Erek with me as I went to meet the other Animorphs.

'You are so kawaii-desu!' I squealed, pinching his lipstick-stained cheeks. He just groaned, muttering something about going through the invasion of Pemalite Homeworld again rather than this, his true love for me is so sweet!

Anyways, I was wearing a Goth Lolita dress and my hair was done into a purple scene cut with black coon tails. Aren't I so beautiful and perfect? The Animorphs all gasped when they saw me, Cassie and Rachel, those preps, were obviously jealous, ha-ha.

'Who's up first?' I winked, flicking a silky lock of my hair and creating neon rainbows in the air.

'Actually, the Ellimist wants us to go fight the Howlers and save the Iskoort today-' Jake started.

'Stop being in-character!' I shouted angrily, then stopped when I realised something. If we go on a mission, then I'll have a chance to show off my amazing skills and powers!

'On second thoughts, let's go!' I giggled, the world around us changed and we were in one of those giant, colourful buildings on the Iskoort planet.

Welcome, visitors! A group of Iskoort shouted happily, coming towards us.

I sighed, 'They are so annoying.' Then I grabbed the others and teleported to another level.

'Hey! Why did you do that?' Rachel snapped.

'Cheer up, I just saved your hair!' I said because I could see the future, leaving Rachel very confused. Puny mortals were so irritating. 'Okay everyone, let's go find those Howlers and show off my amaz- I mean, OUR amazingness!'

Erek tapped me on the shoulder and I smiled, 'Yes, my little Erekie-snoochie-poo?'

He pointed to something behind me. I turned and got a facefull of flechette darts.

'Kill the Sue.' The lead Howler said to the others, they all nodded.

'You are such preps!' I screamed, 'My slaves, attack!'

Jake, Tobias, Marco, and Ax charged in their battle morphs and I watched as they got their butts kicked. I sighed, 'Why do I have to do everything?'

I summoned my fireballs and rainbow crystals, then started to beat the Howlers up. They were supposed to be invincible in combat, but this was fiction so anything could happen (isn't that such a good excuse?)!

'Grovel before me, you preps!' I giggled and my hair turned bright blue then back to rainbow.

A Howler stared, 'Is she always like that?'

'You'll get used to it.' Erek replied, trying to pry off my iron grip on his neck.

The Howler saw me turn towards him and saluted, 'At least I'm going to die for the noble purpose of defending canon logic.'

Before long, they were all smears on the carpet and the Animorphs were worshiping my incredible perfectness.

'You are so amazing, Astri!' Tobias exclaimed.

'I think so too, Goddess of Light!' Marco chirped.

Jake shoved Cassie away, 'Will you go on a date with me, Celeste?'

I placed a hand to my forehead dramatically, 'How ever will I choose?'

Suddenly we were in Z-space, and Crayak's eye was glaring down at us. I was the only one who didn't cower and tremble, aren't I so freaking brave?

HOW DARE YOU MESS UP MY PLANS, SUE? He demanded.

'In your face, prep!' I shouted and stuck my tongue out maturely. 'I'm more powerful okay? Stop hating!'

I SWEAR TO THE ONE, YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS SOMEDAY.

I continued calling him a prep until we got back to Earth, I was so smart.


	5. Revenge on the Yeerks?

'I'm bored,' I sighed, after making out with Erek for the ten thousandth time that day. 'Let's go attack the Yeerk Pool for no reason!'

'Anything you want, Astri O Mighty.' Tobias replied.

So I explained my plan (which was more amazing than anything Jake could hope to come up with) to them, and they all gasped at how clever and original it is. I just smiled and shrugged it off, I'm so humble.

We morphed to our raptor morphs (mine was a phoenix, I'm so special) and flew to the Pool entrance. We landed, demorphed, and Ax began to hack into the Gleet Biofilters.

{This is too difficult for me!} He exclaimed.

I laughed melodically, 'Then allow me.' He stepped aside and I hacked the system in ten seconds.

{You are so smart and amazing, Angel Tears!} Ax said dreamily.

'It's nothing, really.' I smiled, flipping my hair, which just turned sunshine-gold.

We morphed insects (mine was a glow-in-the-dark butterfly and I didn't get noticed, I'm so special) and entered the Pool, then went to battle morphs and started to fight the Yeerks. I summoned my powers and took out twenty armed Controllers at once, everyone was dazzled by how awesome I am.

{I love you, Dark Rose, marry me!} Came a thought-speak voice. I turned and was face-to-face with Visser Three.

'Never, you killed my parents!' Tears flowed down my cheeks and my hair turned a shimmering moonlit sapphire blue and cascaded down my back like a

{I didn't mean to upset you, please forgive me!} V3 begged, his OOCness reaching a whole new level.

I roared and dived for him, demon shadow powers at the ready, then suddenly decided to change my plan.

I switched my powers off and collapsed to my knees, tears spilling out of my eyes like fountains. 'I-I can't take this anymore! I'm so depressed!'

{Get her!} A pair of Hork-Bajir Controllers grabbed my arms and ran after V3, who was retreating towards his Blade Ship.

I turned and looked at Jake with wide eyes, trying hard not to smile. 'Jakey-dear, save me!' Being a damsel in distress would definitely get him to fall in love with me! Then we'll go on dates and make out and- I drooled at the thought of screwing the Animorphs' fearless leader.

{I'm coming, Celeste!} Jake shouted, running in my direction.

I grinned, this was such a perfect plan! Soon I'll have another boyfriend to-

Rachel held out a paw and tripped Jake, he stumbled and fell into the Pool.

{Let's see what you will do now, Sue.} She sneered.

That prep! She ruined my plan!

I wanted to scream at her, but then stopped as I caught sight of V3's tailblade slicing towards my head. My vision darkened and I passed out.

When I woke up, I was in a large room with metal lining the walls, which were painted ebony black but have pictures of Dark Angels and kawaii-desu demon nekos on them in rainbow. There were BVB, 1D, and MCR posters on the walls. I smiled as I saw how goffik the place was.

I kept smiling even when I realised that I was tied to a chair.

A door that I didn't know was there before slid open and Visser Three entered. I gasped: He wore tons of eyeliner and piercings! His preppy blue fur had goffik black streaks dyed into it. The best of all... He was listening to Knives and Pens, officially the most emo song of all time.

I instantly liked him more.

{I did all this for you, Dark Rose!} He exclaimed as his nose ring fell out.

I gasped, 'OMG that's like so sweet!' Then I remembered that I need angst and drama. 'YOU KILLED MY PARENTS, YOU POSER! Give me reasons why I should love you!'

He looked like he was about to cry goffik blood. {Y-you are so mean! How can you break my Bulletproof Heart again and again while I will Die For You? My Days are Numbered, The Only Hope for Me is You . All Your Hate for me is Unbroken, so I'm not Okay (I Promise).}

My mouth fell open, 'That's... A good enough reason... You know what? Never mind my parents, LET'S HAVE HAWT INTERSPECIES SECKS!'

**(Skip this paragraph if you are under 18, or any age really.)**

He untied me from the chair and I took my clothes off. Then he put his boy's-you-know-what into my thingymajigy and I moaned. I felt his sex-pack (lolz get it?) which was has hard and cold and defined and marble-like. After a few hours we came and then started making out again.

**(Coast clear... For now.)**

'I wuv u, Vee-Twee.' I whispered between kisses.

{I wuv u 2. Will you marry me?}

I hesitated for a moment, then my eyes lit up. If we could get married, then I'll have all the other male canons crying and fighting over me! A secret marriage would be even better, so hawt and mysterious!

'Okay, but it's going to stay secret.'

V3 took out a goffik black box and opened it. I gasped, it contained a beautiful emo ring with every type of gems in existence!

He put it on my finger and we continued making out.


	6. Drama!

**Not!Visser Three's POV**

Dark Rose and I held our goffik pale hands with black nail polish as we made our way out of the ship. She was kissing me with her lips that had dark red lipstick on it. All the other controllers looked jealous of me and some were even crying because she was so perfect and hawt. I smirked and put up my middle finger at them.

Dark Rose was so unbelievably, breathtakingly, outstandingly, blindingly beautiful. Her sparkling, mysterious eyes that revealed so much sadness and pain have captivated me since the instance we met, and it continued to dazzle me with their angelic gaze. Astrid is also really smart, smarter than me, Visser One, Ax, the Emperor, Ellimist, Crayak, Father, The One, Alloran, and Jake... combined. She was so extremely talented and good at more things than anyone else could ever dream of.

She was so perfect and beautiful.

**The Sue's POV**

I sighed melodically as my big, beautiful eyes turned as blue as the ocean. What if our secret marriage gets found out? That would be a lot of drama, but I really want it to last until after the wedding, because then I can molest more Yeerks there! You can't blame me, they are so hawt!

Maybe if the Yeerk emperor falls in love with me... He'll do my bidding and I'll control the entire empire! What a perfect plan!

My thoughts were interrupted as the hatch opened and V3 said his goodbyes while crying. I cried sadly in response and promised that we will meet again soon. Then I flew out of the Blade Ship and landed elegantly in front of Ax's scoop. The ship disappeared from sight right before Ax came out.

{Angel Tears? You're back?} Ax called. I thought I heard Erek screaming 'NOOOOOO!' in the distance.

'Yes, it is I!' I exclaimed. 'I was tortured horribly for information but escaped! Sadly, I did not kill Visser Three and thus failed to avenge my parents! It's all my fault! I'm so useless!' I buried my flawless face into his chest and broke into crystalline tears.

{No, it is not!} He comforted, he cared about me so much. {You were amazing and I wish I could do what you have done.}

'Oh, Ax!' I looked into his sorrowful green orbs that were like stars. 'You are so sweet and romantic! I am in love with you!'

He gasped, {But... you deserve so much better! I am not worthy of the most beautiful being ever existed in the universe!}

'I am only plain and useless, Ax!' I cried, pressing his face closer to mine. 'But my love for you is eternal and undying!'

I pressed my lips to where his should be and we had our first true love's kiss.

The next day, I was singing 'Let it go', 'Angel of Darkness', and 'Bad Apple' in the forest (dos r lik totes meh them songs cuz Im soo brokn insid n no1 understandz meh!1). I was wearing a rainbow gem-encrusted Lolita dress and sparkly makeup. My beautiful, angelic, flawless, deity-like voice echoed through the trees, all the animals gathered around me to listen. A bird perched on my shoulder as I sang and picked berries gracefully.

{Your voice is so beautiful, Astri-chan.}

All the animals scattered as Tobias landed in front of me. His blood-red tail, deadly steel-like talons, and hot (lolz geddit cuz hes hawt?) golden eyes revealed so many scars from war and hardship that made me realize he was really hawt even though he was a hawk.

'Hey, Toby-kins.' I licked my lips. 'Wanna screw?'

{Sure!}

He put his thingy into my part passively while frenching and tongue-wrestling and we had you-know-what passively.

A few minutes later, I put my clothes back on while Tobias watched.

Tobias started crying, {Can we screw again some time?}

'Of course, Toby-kins!' I giggled, then I burst into tears.

{Astri!} he gasped, {What's wrong?}

'I-I love you, b-but I am with another!' I sobbed and he tried to comfort me.

{It's okay, I understand.} He whispered, wiping away my bloody tears with his wing.

'Finally, someone who understands me!' I cried, frenching him.

{I am happy for you, Astri.} He said seductively.

'R-really?' I gasped, 'Y-you are?'

{Of course, anything for you.}

I stopped crying, 'W-will you become my sex toy?'

{Yes!} Tobias exclaimed. {Because I love you!}

'That's so sweet!' we frenched again, 'Will you come to my wedding as well so we can do you-now-what?'

{I will.} Tobias smiled, all his remaining sanity and free will vanishing.


End file.
